My Humble Thoughts

For the past few years, I’ve really been thinking generationally. Meaning I have been intentionally creating experiences that will have lasting impact on myself and my family. Some examples include:

-Creating memorable experiences with my children.
-Keeping a physical journal for my kids to read when I am gone.
-Collecting my favourite children’s books to share with my grandchildren one day.
-Making art that can be passed on to my kids
-Writing down my recipes to pass down to my children and grandchildren.
-Wearing my grandmother’s jewelry.
-Lighting a candle for my grandmother on the day of her passing.
-Speaking to her when I need her.
-Making physical photo albums to pass on to my kids.

I am trying to invest time and effort in what matters to me the most, which is my family and my legacy, because at the very end of it all, it is how well you loved and shared love with those around you that matters most. It is a daily decision, the little things, the sweet little moments we share, a wise word, the way that we carry on our daily life that will be remembered when we are gone. And our children will look at this and subconsciously do the same, so that even our grandchildren will know how to LOVE WELL.

While I hope I have much life left to live, I am only 35, I realize that what I DO now will have a ripple effect. How will I be remembered? What stories will be repeated about me? What behaviours, habits, and traditions that I create now, will be passed on?

“Forever is composed of nows” – Emily Dickenson.

Humbly,

M.

 

Después de 20 años viviendo en Canadá, siento muchas cosas que he tratado de ignorar y reprimir por el bien de “acostumbrarme” a la cultura Norteamericana. Siento que con mi reciente visita a Cuba, aunque fue muy corta, recordé una parte de la mujer que yo siempre he sido y que había dejado atrás. 

Llegamos a Canadá con mi familia cuando yo tenía 14 años. Le agradezco a mi mami por ser tan valiente y fuerte que nos trajo a este país sola sin saber mucho inglés y se puso a trabajar muy duro por todo lo que tuvimos como niños. Yo siempre he sido una persona carismática, y como una adolecente, yo quería nada más que poder hacer amigos con todos los Canadienses y encontrarme en el centro de los grupos más populares en la escuela. 

Pero ahora ya he tenido 20 años de experiencia, y la verdad es que mi cuerpo y alma no puede negar que todo este tiempo yo simplemente he vivido una ilusión. Esta versión de mi que yo invente para sobrevivir en este país, ha causado que no haya vivido completamente. Este mundo de adorar a las riquezas materiales, esforzandoze tanto al puto que la familia viene segundo al trabajo. Yo encuentro que soy feliz con muy poco y lo único que quiero es estar rodeada de la gente que quiero.

En Cuba, me sentí mucho más cerca de mi cultura, que es alegre, fiestera, celebrando cualquier evento, y feliz con cosas simples. Nuestro idioma es hermoso y expresivo. Nuestra musica – no hay nada como ella. Si tu te encuentras leyendo esto como mi amigo Chileno o Sudamericano, a lo mejor piensas que tu país te ha fallado, y eso si puede ser…injusticias pasan todos los dias, pero te quiero decir que no existe nada más bello que nuestra cultura. 

No vale la pena esconder quien eres para satisfacer a otra gente. Estoy redescrubriendo a mi misma, celebrando mis raíces, escuchando más música latina, tomando vinito rico Chileno, cocinando con nuestros sabores y conectándome con gente latina. Espero algún día poder volver a Chile y encontrarme con todo lo que amo. Cuba fue una experiencia mágica.  Nunca es muy tarde para despertar en la vida, eso lo estoy aprendiendo día a día.

 

Humildemente, 

M.

A lot of my life has been spent in the service of others, and I still believe in my heart this is my ultimate purpose. The only thing I have noticed, is I have somewhat lost myself in the pursuit of helping others. It feels like as I try and find “who I really am” away from other people, I discover quite an array of deep emotions, some really ugly ones that actually scare me, and some powerfully freeing ones also.

For example: just the thought of living my life not caring what others think of me. That is hard. And I have heard from a lot of my women friends that this is an issue with them too. Not so much for men, but it seems to be primarily women that stress about how others view them and how they are presenting themselves to the world.

We have to be good women, we have to be good mothers, good wives, good daughters, we have TO BE GOOD in all areas of our lives, all the time. There is very little room for failure or imperfection or even expression at times and when we show anything other than our “good side” people judge us very harshly (not to mention the shame we place upon ourselves)

I have in the past really struggled with this, however I am entering an era in life where I regularly try to ignore any thoughts that fuel this kind of insecurity. Such as: “but you could have said that better” or “maybe you should have just not said anything at all” or “is this really how my body looks in pictures?….or any kind of thought that brings me down.

Seems all kind of selfish sometimes, to pursue yourself, and just be unapologetically you. So much of my Christian upbringing has been dedicated to DENYING myself, to control my body, my speech, my thoughts, my emotions. And while I appreciate that we should be striving to be good people, who are examples of Jesus love and all the wonderful things…I still think Jesus sees all of me, the good and the bad and still loves me, so why shouldn’t I try and love myself too?

Nobody is just ONE thing, everyone of us has light and darkness inside of us and God knows about it all.

I am trying to be completely authentic with myself, the good and the bad. I am trying to allow all of me to exist and whoever is there with me will be there with me, and whoever leaves, I will let them go. I don’t want to compromise who I am to make others feel comfortable around me anymore. I want to be ok with people thinking whatever they want about me, because the true ones will really know me and that is enough for me.

I want to continue in my pursuit of being a good person, a true follower of Jesus who will lay down their life for anyone, even an enemy regardless of what they think of me.

Is this possible? Is this ok to want?…we will see in this new episode called 34.

Humbly,

M.

The concept of “meaning” is a powerful thing. It is an instinctive thing our brains do, assigning meaning to everything in order to make sense of things so that we can compartmentalize ideas, concepts, experiences, people, etc. However, we need to be aware of the type of meaning we attribute to certain things because sometimes this can create unnecessary stress.

We need to be open to the possibility that maybe there are things we will never know the real meaning of, and certainly there are things that during our life times, we might never know. These truths are better accepted early on in life.

I think most of us do accept big mysteries such as the creation of the world, or…the great mystery about life after death, or the existence of God. There are many out there who claim to know the answers to these questions, but some people aren’t so sure. Nonetheless, we accept these things as sort of “The Big Mysteries of Life” and in fact I think most of us have an actual compartment in our brains labeled “Mysteries”, wouldn’t you agree? I know I surely do!

So, why do we seem to accept these big mysteries but yet continue to refuse to accept smaller mysteries in our lives such as…why did this happen to me? why does this person act this way towards me? Why did this person leave me? Why am I feeling this way? Etc, etc, etc.

What if – for once, we looked at these smaller “unknowns” and instead of desperately trying to attach some kind of meaning to them…just for the moment, we accepted them as mysteries?

We might some day discover the truth of these things, and in a lot of cases we do end up finding out. However, if we just took some time to PAUSE and say to ourselves: “Ok, I don’t know why this happened to me. It doesn’t make any sense. I cannot understand it. But for right now…I am just going to step back and wait for things to unfold”

Trust me I know this is easier said than done, especially when something particularly awful happens to you. But it is a 100 times more painful to be sitting there tearing yourself apart trying to attach meaning to something you just do not have enough information about. Ultimately it is about trusting that even though you do not understand what happened or why…there is a greater purpose. It is about surrendering to the reality that you cannot and might never be able to explain it, but life goes on.

Maybe at some point we could even learn to appreciate the part that mystery plays in our lives. Maybe we could start to view it as a door to new perspectives. Even maybe as a silent healer…

Humbly,

M.

 

More than anything in this world, our souls long for truth. Truth about where we come from, how the world was created, how old the universe is, is life really eternal? Are there multiple dimensions?…and many other existential questions. At the very core of our being, we want to know the truth of these things. Some of us more than others, but deep down everyone has wondered at least once in their life about these things.

For many years I was too shy to express what I believed to be true. I am now in a place in my life where I have no fear about who agrees with me about my beliefs. Regardless of anyone else’s religion/belief system, we cannot deny that “living your truth” is the most powerful thing you can do for yourself. It truly is transformative, when you unapologetically live out your life the way you want to, without the fear of anyone else’s opinion. Life is simply too short to care what people think.

This kind of feeling has been recently led by the LGBTQIA+ movement. They have radicalized what it means to “live your truth”. They have done so much work in recent years to push the boundaries of what is normal and gain acceptance in all areas of society.  They have made it their mission to spread their beliefs and say: “Here we are! accept me or not, I am going to live my life the way I want to” This is undeniably a powerful thing and I think we could learn from them.

In the same way my LGBTQIA+ friends are choosing to live unapologetically, I am choosing to no longer hide behind a curtain and live my faith the way it’s meant to. In my mind, being a Christian and serving the Lord is a full time job. 24/7 the Lord says wake up! there is people that need love, there is people who need a hug, a smile, a gentle word, to hear about your testimony.

I have been hired by Jesus Christ to love my neighbour and “GO AND TELL” what the Lord has done for me. All of these things have been dictated in scripture and they are not optional. The rewards are infinite and eternal.

Why isn’t there a cross being painted on the sidewalks of our towns? why aren’t christians flags being raised? The quick answer is because the modern christian, and I mean the true christians who actually live their lives as so, have become irrelevant to the world, hidden behind our comfort zones, frozen by fear. Not to mention we have created a horrible reputation for ourselves by failing to do our number one job which is to LOVE OUR NEIGHBOUR AND GO AND TELL what the Lord has done for us.

So thats it. I am living as I was meant to be. Fully alive, fully transformed by God and ready to serve. I don’t care what anyone thinks. I am free of that fear and shame. I respect the way other people live their lives and I am radically living mine for God.

Humbly,

M.

Do you think people aren’t motivated to work because they are genuinely lazy? or does it have to do with the current work environments available to them? Increasingly I hear horror stories from people working minimum wage jobs at major corporations, some people will say “Just suck it up and do the work. Work is work”…but should people just “suck up” abusive treatments in the workplace for the bare minimum pay? Obviously I don’t know all the answers, but we live in the age of information and most people now know that they are worth more than a basic minimum wage job, regardless of where they come from, etc. Not to mention that the cost of living is obviously only on the increase…

Essentially some people will say it’s part of life, to have some people work the minimum wage jobs while others strive for more than that. Historically this has been the case for millenniums now. However, we have gotten to a point where we can manufacture robots that will accomplish the more menial jobs, sometimes with better results than a human could. Today we can encounter self-check outs at almost every grocery store, ordering machines at many fast food places, robot janitors that are moving into Walmart and local malls, not to mention the countless things we can do “online” without even having to speak to a person.

Some people will say this is not necessarily a good thing. To have jobs “stripped away” from people by machines. However, have you ever encountered a person who was genuinely happy working a minimum wage job? I for sure haven’t. Have you ever felt badly for a stranger working such jobs? I sure have. Maybe it is time to allow machines to accomplish those jobs that nobody really wants to do…this way people will have no other choice but to strive for bigger and better things, more education, more experience, higher levels of being/thinking, better attitudes, etc. Do you think this is an achievable reality? Or do you think it’s cruel to- like I said before “rob people” of these kinds of jobs?

Humbly,

M.

We are taught to believe that society has only gotten better with age. But unfortunately this is not all true. While many scientific advancements have been made in our time, the more we learn about the universe, the more we also seem to forget what is truly important in life.  We have spent too much time focusing on using the power of nature, and forgotten to admire the source of all nature, which is real and divine. Today, we seem to have completely replaced the divine with the scientific.

I believe the key is to study the Ancient world. Take Ancient Egypt as an example, while they did not possess modern technology as we know it, they had a fundamental understanding of their place in the cosmos which directed everything in their society. True wisdom comes from understanding that we are limited beings. This principal is what both drives discovery and keeps it within the boundaries of nature. Till this day they remain one of the most advanced societies the world has ever known.

How far will we go with our discoveries and what kind of mindset will we develop in the end? We cannot continue to believe the delusion that the divine is non-existent or simply a human construct. God is real. He is manifested in all of nature. Nature is worthy of our honour and respect. We depend upon it. We can use this truth to guide us and propel us into our newest developments or we can continue to deny it and strive purposelessly and selfishly into our own destruction.

Humbly,

M.

 

Here is the truth. We are infinite glorious beings that are capable beyond what we know. The only certainty is that there is no certainty, we do not know what will occur tomorrow, we can plan and predict with our limited knowledge…but there is something infinitely bigger and grander that rules the universe. We need to wake up and look each day in the face anew and be open to new possibilities with humility. We need to concern ourselves with the things of the divine. We need to observe nature and science with a new eye. We need to look at every field of study with the most humble hearts, knowing that there is so much more to learn. We need to put social judgements and prejudices aside, because not even single cell organisms concern themselves with these…

Invest in eternity,

Humbly,

M.

Time isn’t linear and there are no isolated events. The past, present and future are all interconnected. Things that originate in the past have immediate future consequences and create what we understand to be the present time. There is no such thing as a past without a future or a future without a past, no such thing as a present without a past or future. They are always co-existing, for all eternity and we live in the midst of all three at all times. 

Humbly,

M.

Why should we all just accept things the way they are or be afraid to question the world we find ourselves in?

Why shouldn’t we ever try to find better ways…other ways…

Who has the authority to forbid us to question? And why do we shame those who do?

After all, it is because we questioned things that we have found solutions in the past…

Questioning leads to solutions – to answers.
(and often times to more questions)

It is beautiful to observe things from multiple sides, even if we don’t have all of the answers.

The point is that at least we should be seeking the truth.

There is a difference between accepting a truth that was imposed on you, and truly believing and living in the truth of things…

Humbly,

M.

Sometimes the pursuit of individualism becomes a campaign against humanity. There is a fine line, where the “fight” for individualism becomes the end of the collective human consciousness.

Humbly,

M.

To be perfect just means you never stop trying. When we say “practice makes perfect” we assume it means perfection is achievable through practice. But I wish we could really mean that a perfect person is simply one who perseveres.

In other words, what makes us perfect are all those times we chose to pick ourselves back up and do a little better – or a lot better. Just better.

It really isn’t about never making mistakes – or achieving perfection. It can’t be. We make mistakes – all of the time.

It’s about giving yourself and others a chance to do a little better each day. Making a conscious effort to pursue improvement as opposed to unattainable perfection.

Humbly,

M.

Extraordinary things take extraordinary effort.
You don’t get to do extraordinary things without an above average amount of effort.
Realizing this is key to achieving your dreams.
It is the effort that is extraordinary not the goal itself.

Humbly,

M.

When you have a purpose (and we all have one- every. single. one of us) You find out what that purpose is…you tune into that purpose and never let go of it.

Life will send you challenges. You will have to fight some battles and sometimes those battles will get overwhelming. But all you gotta do is keep focusing on that purpose and don’t let anything get in the way of it. Absolutely nothing.

When you’re up against something that you don’t see the end of. Pray.

Pray to God and say thank you for giving me this purpose…I know you’re going to get me through this fight. I know you’re going to show up for me somehow because you have done it so many times in the past.

Trust. And continue to do what needs to be done for your purpose. Nothing else matters.

Believe. Send the haters out the door with a blessing. Move on. Head high. Heart Open.

Never lose sight of your purpose.

Humbly,

M.

Theres two ways we can view ourselves in Canada.
1. As Canada
2. As one of the many countries on planet earth.

Now is the time to be making global decisions.

We are one race. We are human. Fickle beings, but this is our planet.
We are reaping the consequences of believing a horrible lie – That we don’t need other people to be happy.

But, what will it take for us to restore our true humanity? How can we go back? How can we move forward?

Let’s begin to have these conversations and ask ourselves these questions.
Our quality of life depend on it.

Humbly,

M.

A lot of society’s problems can be solved by simply accepting the reality that we are all different. And it’s not a crime, it’s not an illness, it’s not scary. It’s simply real life and it’s beautiful.

Humbly,

M.